no I'm not pmsing, I just had that sudden urge to cry again.. maybe because I miss the simplicity of how things used to be.. school wasnt so expensive and alla that like I get it I'm not complaining I'm just sayin.. I know we eventually have to become independent but the fact we pay so much for things we don't need the rest of our lives yehknow, like a simple book costs like 100 bucks for one class that you're taking for not even a year -.- i dont know... I seriously lost motivation.. I'm trying to slowly gain it back, but i dont know. in like emotional at the moment. not crying just simply feeling all types of emotions. I'm overwhelming myself with over thinking everything :/ ugh i don't even know.. relationships on the other hand, I don't know if I can handle anymore. like schools stressin me enough, I mean I'd love someone who'd be there for me and just comfort me and talk to me or just listen to me rant, like this, but like that will ever happen.. guys in college now a days are focused on school which is not a bad thing! it's good but thats not what bothers me, its just they also party alot. and the fact I don't party i dont drink nor smoke, I feel like I'm not good enough. I'm supposedly "straight edge" and I feel like now a days guys just kind of throw people like me aside.. why do express my opinion this way? well I've recently just gone through it. augh i dont know what I'm talking about! bleh.. it's just guys try to look good saying they want a keeper or someone faithful but they always seem to pass those typa girls by.. now don't get me wrong, girls are exactly the same, and for both guys and girls it's not all who are like that. I know I'm just sayin. wehh that doesn't even make sense. ugh no one to talk to. and this is what happens.. it's sucks yehknow.. I had bestfriends who I could talk to about anything.. but the sad thing was they all moved so I was left alone as we drifted apart.. no one to talk to always.. i dont know I just feel like all this was my fault.. I just want to go somewhere and just sit alone and cry.. not to be emo but just to let everything out because I have no one to talk to. gah if you could feel what I'm feeling right now you wouldn't know what to do.. I'm so lost in the seemingly simple yet complicated world.. well I have class tomorrow morning.. this is the only place I can vent like this at the moment.thanks. goodnight<3
peace&love, rinamichelle.