it's been awhile, sorry been unintentionally pretty busy.. but lets just say im not havin it. the start of my 2014, has just been horrible. ive been really emotional lately, like more than ever. i feel like the biggest failure and i cant do anything about it because im limited to so many necessities. i can only do so much with what i have. anyway, yeah everyone says you cant get anywhere without the odds of having to fail, how it molds you into the person you are supposed to be. idk, what am i supposed to be, i am legitimately lost. i do the things i love but i get shot down for it. yeah i prioritize it because its the only thing i have and am actually somewhat decent at doing. why dont i get a real job? idk why dont you ask me if i need help instead, i literally spent half of a whole year looking and applying for jobs that would hire me for what little ive done. my resume sucksballz, and ive tried asking for help, but everyones to "busy" therefore i occupied myself with something i know no one would shoot me down. i feel like im in pain everyday. idk, ive been having bad dreams about accidents, people i dont even know, getting hurt. idk whats going on right now i cant think...