my mom and i have a weird relationship. When i was younger, i was so clingy to my mom like any other child would be like with their own mother. For me i feel as if it was different though, i needed my mom, i was always with her, and for the time when i wasnt, when she'd go off to work or just go out with m dad, i'd bust out in tears, it'd come to a point where my siblings had to keep me busy as they left the house. As i grew older i kind of drifted from her as well as from my dad. but i kind of became one of those kids who just kept quiet to themselves. everyday i'd go to school (elementary at the time) id cry at school because 1. i hated school, 2. though i wouldnt admit it to anyone, i just wanted to be with my mom. I'd fake being sick so i can go home, as ridiculous as it sounds, i did that. No one knew why except me til this day. anyway, middle school, i found something out about my mom that just hurt my family and i. it was just one of those why us, why her. From the news we heard, we became close again, all of us. no bickering with the siblings and listened to our parents. but as she began to recover, things started to change, where i'd feel like the black sheep only because i would be picked on by my siblings knowing i was the sensitive one..well that blew over and high school came.my mom, doing much better, we still didnt have a close relationship anymore. i was going through my own rough time, but things were just on neutral i guess nothing bad or good. but as i grew up, graduating my mom and i grew closer again. and now i am a 2nd year in college and my winter break just ended. Basically spent my whole winter break with my mom shopping and whatnot and now that schools starting again i dont want to leave her. the time we had, felt like the old times when i was little. just felt good to be with her again. ugh i dont know if this all make sense, but i guess what im trying to say is i miss being a kid, i miss being close to my parents, i miss not having to worry about school and books and money. on the other hand, i wish i had all the money in the world, not for me but for my parents. christmas shopping, i saw how my moms face lit up when i bought her some things, it wasnt much but she was glad, she was happy. i just want to see my mom happy as well as my dad. i want my parents to be able to relax for once. i dont know. i love my parents, im crying my eyes out right now, and i have school tomorrow. ill be back to vent more.
from my complicated mind,
~rinamichelle<3>